If I set up my email rules correctly, your comments should be emailed to her - so feel free to comment away!
Hey all! I blog over at Always a Northerner and I am filling in for Sweet Bea while she is down in Florida soaking up the sun. I've got a major issue and need your help, so I am just going to jump right in and throw it all out there!
I have a lot of family members that read my blog, including my husband, so sometimes I can't talk about certain things. I have a problem that I would love other bloggers' opinion on, so guest blogging is the perfect way to blog about a dilemma without angering any family members. Right? At least, let's hope.
About a year ago my husband's sister got engaged to the guy she has been dating for a few years. When telling us the big news, she asked my husband and I to be in the wedding. We happily agreed to be attendants and to help with planning as much as possible, as we had just gone through it a few months prior to her engagement. The situation was slightly complicated by the fact that she lives in California and we live in DC, however, we both promised to do as much as we could to help. She informed us that she was planning to have the wedding the Saturday or Sunday of Labor Day weekend, which would work out great because it is easier for us (and the rest of her family) to travel out west for a weekend when an extra day like Labor Day is built in. Because life got crazy for all of us, we never actually communicated about the wedding again, until she contacted us last week with some new information.....
She decided to have a wedding where only 15 people are invited (including us) the THURSDAY before Labor Day and have the reception with family and friends on Sunday. All in California.
Obviously I am aware that it is her wedding and she can do whatever she wants, but seriously.... holy inconvenience.
I am a school psychologist in the public schools, and this is the second week of work for me. Also, this is my first year as a school psychologist, and I can't take off three days the second week of school, particularly on a holiday weekend. Taking time off before or after holidays is heavily frowned upon in general (because ALL school employees would take off then and there would be no one to work with the children), and doing it right after I begin working will look even worse. If this had been communicated to us prior to me accepting my current position, maybe I could have negotiated the days off, but at this point, I have already accepted without any special circumstances being brought to their attention.
Also, my husband will have just started his second year of law school and also shouldn't be missing important classes the first two weeks of school. However, his situation isn't nearly as serious as mine. It's just a tad inconvenient for him.
When she told us this we were honest and told her we would have to discuss our options given work and law school, hoping that she might be understanding if both or one of us (obviously me) couldn't make it for the wedding. Well, she must have told her parents what we said because a couple days later we received an email from my husband's mother telling us our attendance at the wedding is mandatory.
Nice.
I understand that she is family and that ideally we would be there, but doesn't making the wedding on a THURSDAY negate some of the obligation to be there?
I am just scared that I will forever be black listed by the family if I miss the wedding. As for work, I am scared to ask about taking the days off, because if they say no and then I take them as sick leave or something, I could lose my job and/or the chance to gain seniority in my position if I just skip out on work.
What would you do?
~The Northerner
