Ouch...or why DC ain't big enough for both of us, Owen Wilson

NOTE: This was SUPPOSED to be a scheduled post, but since I clearly lack the capacity to schedule posts correctly, you get to read it now. It's short and sweet, and with pics. :)

Ouch.

I got elbowed in the nose last night by my coworker.

It was on accident, so I'm not terribly mad at her (though still mad!)

I have a small black eye (though Florida says I'm imagining it) and my already large-and-in-charge nose is swollen (Florida admits that it is swollen.)

I totally almost pulled Marsha's "Now I'll never be a teen model!" line from the Brady Bunch Movie but decided that at nearly-30 my window for being a teen model has sadly passed.

Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep last night because my nose and head hurt and I'm incredibly freaked out about finding a job and a new apartment, so now both my eyes have heavy dark circles around them - making it look like I have 2 black eyes.

Ugh.

On the flip side, here are some quick pics from the wedding I had the pleasure of attending in Milwaukee this past birthday weekend.

At some point soon there will be a recap of my Florida adventures and more/better pics from the wedding...but until that time, enjoy these!

Exchanging of the rings

Close-up of her bouquet - notice the lovely blue irises??

The bride - she was truly beautiful

The salad, in a martini glass. Quite clever, I thought!

Cheers,

Sweet Bea

PS - thank you all for my birthday wishes!!Birthday in Milwaukee was a blast, celebrating at the Old German Beer Hall with an old friends and new friends, and ending with Chinese food, pajamas, and The DaVinci Code movie. DC Birthday part 1 was last Friday with a YUMMY dunner at Zaytinya, one of my FAVE restaurants in the city, with Florida, Bestie, her boyfriend gK, and our good friend WestWing (for her fave show) who just moved back to DC and looked SMASHING. DC Birthday part 2 - the karaoke edition - will be sometime in July when everyone's schedules open back up.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Everybody sing along now:

Happy Birthday to ME,

Happy Birthday TO ME,

Happy Birthdaaaaaaaaaaaay to MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE,

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPY Birthday, TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(hitting the high note at the end!)

Today, your fearless leader, moi, turns the big 2-9.

When I return from Milwaukee (stupid ass friends planning their wedding on my birthday weekend. I was here first!) there will be dinners at Zaytinya, karaoke (duh!,) and perhaps (if I am lucky/persuasive enough,) a trip to Medieval Times.

Hopefully someone will come home from Milwaukee to a lovely display of blue irises (her favorite!) If not, her Bestie will remember and bring some to dinner (she ALWAYS does!)

Hope you are all enjoying MY birthday! Have fun for me!!!

(Birthday) Cheers,

Sweet Bea

PS - Don't worry, I'll be back to my *slightly* less selfish self after the birthday festivities wind down and the countdown to 30 starts...

Why Tequila and Champagne are my BFFs...or why National Airport, Midwest Airlines, Alamo Rental Cars, and yes, even NASCAR, are on my bad side...

NOTE: This post was supposed to be done yesterday, but I needed some booze a day to decompress. So here it is, a day late (and 400 dollars short.)

Today, I flew to Milwaukee for a friend's wedding.

But, as with nearly all my air travel, it did not go without complications.

After staying up waaaaaay to late on Wednesday night playing on the blog and avoiding packing, I woke up at 9:00 a.m. to pack for my 2:00 p.m. flight out of National. Read: tired and cranky.

Side note: DC has 2 airports: Reagan National, just outside the city, and Dulles, about 45 minutes away (without traffic.)

Eventually I packed and showered and got ready to go to the airport. Florida took leave today so he could drive me - ain't he sweet? We decided that since he was off today we would use the day off to also get his new parking permit so he didn't keep getting parking tickets every night.

Florida drops me of at the airport and heads off to meet with my leasing agent to get the required proof of residency form that my agent said he would fill out for Florida.

I meanwhile check-in at Midwest and am informed that my flight is 15 minutes delayed.

15 minutes? No sweat!

I cruise through security (cutting my bare footsie on a shard of glass in the process...) and find a seat at my gate, get settled and comfy, and start reading Something Blue (FAB!)

A bit later I realize I haven't heard any announcement from the gate regarding the delay - which was now much more than 15 minutes late. But what I do hear is the gentleman sitting across from me talking to his neighbor, saying that the plane was at Dulles.

Dulles.

The other DC airport.

I am absolutely incredulous at this proclamation, so I decide I must head to the counter to verify for myself - because there had still not been any announcement from the gate.

Yup - plane at Dulles (DULLES!)

Nope - they have no idea when it is arriving at National.

Dejected, I return to my seat and decide a call to Mama Bea was in order. Yea, because she always cheers me up...

50 minutes later, Mama Bea and I hang up because my cell battery is somehow dying - still no info on when our plane is arriving, nor any official announcement from the gate.

I get a text from Florida:

Sorry to bug you while you're on the phone with Mama Bea, but you have to fill out the form so I need to wait until you get back to go to the DMV.

Wait - what??

Leasing agent SPECIFICALLY said that HE (leasing agent) would fill out the form and notarize it as he is a notary public (I think it what it's called.) And now he says that I have to fill it out?

So of course, I call the leasing agent and leave a very terse message: I am at the airport getting ready to board my plane (lie) and you need to call me back immediately to resolve this issue as you said you needed to fill out the form and notarize it.

Leasing agent calls back and informs me that no, my information (gotten from him!) was wrong and I actually had to fill the form out, sorry! (HATE my leasing agent.)

I call Florida back and just say - fill out the form with my info and sign it. I am not waiting to deal with this on Monday, and he needs the permit TODAY.

Oh, and still no announcement from the gate.

30 minutes later, Florida sends me this text:

I need a copy of your license before I can get the permit. And a copy of the lease with your name on it.

I swear I about lost it and replied with:

If ONE MORE THING goes wrong today I am going to SCREAM!

My plane is now 3 hours delayed (and was supposed to be touching down in Milwaukee and my magical plane was at the WRONG AIRPORT!) and Florida can't get the permit that we need today so he doesn't get any more tickets...I was about to lose it.

I finally hear an announcement that we are boarding (hmm, no one ever announced that our plane had arrived, but sweet!) I push through the line because I am in Row 9 and that is what the are boarding, and hand the agent my boarding pass.

She tells me I need to go to the next gate.

Huh??

Apparently they have CHANGED GATES. Awesome. Several people around me also then go to the "correct" gate, where they are boarding as well.

The idiotic boarding agent (who at this point is being so incredibly rude it was unbelievable. Lady - if you make an announcement, people won't individually come up to you every 5 minutes to find out what's going on. Not hard...) rudely takes my ticket while saying (not over the loudspeaker) that this is the final boarding call for our flight. What an idiot. No one can hear you! No one is here to board!

FINALLY on the plane I start to stress about getting a rental car when I land in Milwaukee. Yes I should have reserved online but frankly I was only home for one day and had to work most of it and then ran errands the rest of it and it slipped my mind. Sue me.

There is a fresh wad of gum on the floor directly in front of my seat - right where my feet or purse would go. Awesome.

Trying to ignore the horrible children sitting in the row in front of me shaking their seat so much that I literally couldn't read my book that was sitting on the tray table (and trying with all my might to not 1) yell at them/their mother, 2) punch the back of their seat to get them to stop) I looked at the drink menu.

I do not drink (on planes.)

I hate to fly, and I learned early in my aviation career that Bea + plane booze = a vocally terrified, neurotic, paranoid Bea. Not good.

But Jack Daniels looked mighty, mighty good to me right then.

Luckily for me and my still-full wallet, bu the time they came around (much too late in the flight, in my opinion) I just got a Diet Dr. Pepper and waited patiently for the baked on board chocolate chip cookies (pretty much the only reason I fly Midwest.)

Once I had cookies in my tummy, things started getting better. I finished Something Blue (the book I STARTED at the airport!) and set about playing with my ipod and doing the crossword.

Pretty quickly, we landed. Sweet Lord, I am finally in Milwaukee.

I get my bag (2 rows behind me in the overhead bin...a total plane pet peeve of mine. Don't put your laptop/purse/coat in the overhead bin!) and take off to the rental car area.

Now, I just rented a car in Florida last weekend through Budget, and I have a coupon for a free weekend day rental, yay! I also have a coupon for $15.00 off through Alamo, double yay!

I decide to forgo the line at Budget and go next door to Alamo...where I am promptly told I cannot use my coupon because I don't have a reservation. Who cares if I made a reservation!

I huff off to wait in line at Budget. After waiting a few minutes, I realize that their sign saying Cars Available wasn't to be seen. I hear an agent on the phone with a customer saying something about NASCAR being in town...and I start to panic (It's not even real NASCAR - it's Busch Series...like the minor leagues of racing. Stupid stupid Busch Series!)

I look at my Budget coupon - also needed advance reservation.

Shit. Now what?

I saunter back over to Alamo with my tail between my legs, and request a car (their Cars Available sign was up.)

My cost (without any additional coverage or anything): $400.

$400!

For the exact same car I rented in Florida last weekend for under $100.

WTF?

I grimace and realize I don't have a choice, and fork over my debit card.

The agent, Nancy, asks for the printout of my return flight.

HUH? Yea...I don't have that.

She (not terribly) politely informs me that without proof of a return flight I can't use my debit card. SO stupid.

I ask her how I was expected to go about getting her a printout of my return flight. She responds that I needed to go the Midwest ticketing area and have one of them print out my return flight information.

Yea...right. That ain't happening. I just spent over 3 hours dealing with awful Midwest people...am NOT going to deal with another.

I very angrily throw my credit card at her (yes I know I am not being mature but I was PISSED!) and she informs me that my card says it was not authorized to be used.

You have GOT to be kidding me!

I yank back my card and dial the stupid credit card company to raise hell because I already activated this new card! There is no reason this shouldn't be working.

Meanwhile Alamo Nancy has called for backup, and one idiot boy has decided that talking to me while I am CLEARLY on the phone with the credit card company is a wise idea. He informs me that if my card was declined they can't run it again for 24 hours.

Shiiiiit.

I tell him that my card wasn't declined - it wasn't authorized, and that they would be running it again as soon as I was off the phone (take THAT Alamo Nancy and friends!)

Sure enough, 5 short minutes later, $400 was dumped onto my newly-reactivated credit card and I was angrily storming out to get my stupid car.

Ironically, the car is bright red, and I was red with anger.

Finally I get to my friend's house and we head off to dinner where we are approached by 2 ladies bearing Jose Cuervo Platino tequila shots. Yes, please! (PS what is it with me and tequila lately? I HATE tequila! But recently it has been soo good!) It is apparently a very exclusive tequila...but I'll tell you exactly what it tastes like:

Regular Tequila + water = Platino.

I told the girls this...they didn't look happy. But it was terrible - and my tablemates all agreed with my assessment. Sorry tequila girls, your shit sucks. Not my fault.

(Not to say I wouldn't have taken another shot has they given me more free booze...)

Next I decided to order the cava, but they were out, so they subbed in some very yummy champagne, which I downed elegantly sipped a few glasses one glass of.

Finally the wave of booze calm washed over me and I sunk back in my seat and remembered how much I love being in Milwaukee!

So today, I am feeling much better (save for the minor headache) and am looking forward to tonight's wedding - even if it is cold and rainy and the wedding is outdoors...

I'm sure there is more I am missing, but I need to hop in the shower to get ready for the wedding!

Wishing you all a fantastical weekend and blue, sunny skies!

Cheers,

Sweet Bea

No 360 degree mirror needed here, Stacy London...or Why I will NEVER Move Away from My Bestie

So, if you've read my tweets from this evening, you know that the dress I planned on wearing to this Friday's Milwaukee wedding that fit just last week or so now Will. Not. Fit. At. All.

I'm talking even with Spanx and hideous girdle-y type underoos would barely zip up.

And when it did, I looked a little like this. In other words: not pretty.

Here's what it looked like 5 years ago at my graduation party last week (honest!):

Sorry for the sloppy ribbon belt...it had been a looooooong night. Speaking of long - check out my hair!! (I'm obvi on the left, College Bestie PIC on the right)

Another sloppy ribbon belt pic. Notice the horrific red surnburn?? Yea...I barely walked in the ceremony, I matched our maroon caps and gowns. Bad bad bad news. I use sunscreen now...College Besties KJ and PIC on the left and right, respectively

The sash I bought at David's Bridal per Mrs. Newlywed's brilliant suggestion looked great...until I moved. And then it rode up from around my waist and gave my underwire a run for its money. Sigh.

When I added the wrap I bought and my shoes and pearl necklace, I looked absolutely ridiculous. Even Florida looked up from his boring ass exhilarating world history novel long enough to tell me I looked silly (but not fat, he said. Just silly.)

Freaking out since my plane left in less than 24-hours and I now had nothing to wear, I start tearing into my closet to find something, anything!, suitable for this wedding I already have no idea how to dress for.

I pulled out my new birthday maxi dress and tried a few options with it. Maybe...

Next comes my go-to strapless LBD that I've worn eleventy billion times every now and then since purchasing it my sophomore year of college (ASU ladies - anyone remember the name of the shop on Mill next to Z Gallerie-ish?? Small store, rude sales people, cute clothes??) This dress has possibilities.

I put the wrap and sash on...getting warmer, but still not right. Take the sash off. Put the sash back on. Try on different jewelry. Take off jewelry.

And on and on it goes. For an hour.

Frustrated and completely bewildered (and feeling like a sausage in my Spanx!) I call my Bestie.

Now I love this girl with all my heart - she is an amazing friend and I can't see myself in DC without her. But - she ain't perfect.

In fact, she often doesn't pick up her phone or return my texts. (Maybe she's just not that into me?)

So as her phone rang and rang and I grew more and more frustrated/worried/loud in my near-frantic cursing of her, I thought I was doomed to wear jeans to the wedding and start a new trend.

But she answered (mid-curse, mind you. I'm such a lady!)

Poor Bestie was still at work but would be headed home in about a half hour and would be available to help.

Thank GOD Bestie lives a mere 3 blocks away (she is, after all, the reason I picked our neighborhood when I moved into DC.) I packed ALL the dresses, ALL the jewelry, and ALL the accessories into my bag and scooted out the door at breakneck speed ready to topple small children, puppies, and old people who dare get in my way like a true, genteel lady.

Well in no time, she decided I would wear the black strapless dress and pulled out the PERFECT necklace and bangles for me to borrow (knowing full well there is a distinct possibility she will never get them back. I'm HORRIBLE about returning things unless you seriously remind me every day and threaten to take away our future play time!)

She also opined on what I should wear with the maxi dress (for my birthday dinner sometime next week) and even gave me an even MORE perfect sash to wear with the original turquoise dress in case I miraculously have this baby I'm somehow carrying in my belly stop retaining water in the next 48 hours. She is AWESOME.

So - here is the wedding outfit (I couldn't find anything but the shoes on stupid Polyvore or the Googles, so I made my own!)

A sneak peek into my bedroom. Yes that is a disco ball hanging from the doorknob. :)

close-up of Bestie's necklace. LOVE IT!

So you can see a bit more detail of the dress. It is incredibly simple, with just this ruching to the (food) baby bump.

So, long story short (too late!), Bestie has once again come to my aid and proven to me that I cannot survive unless she is rightthere to help me.

And I promise to give her her necklace and bangles back. Eventually...

Cheers,

Sweet Bea

PS - I'll be gone until Sunday, so expect at least one VERY IMPORTANT scheduled post. You won't want to miss it, I promise.

When you see the Southern Cross for the first time...

Still on holiday in the Gulf! I wanted to bring you one of my *fave* Jimmy Buffett songs* in tribute to my own stay in Florida! Be home tomorrow!

Southern Cross

Got out of town on a boat goin' to southern islands.
Sailing a reach before a followin' sea.
She was makin' for the trades on the outside,
And the downhill run to Papeete Bay.

Off the wind on this heading lie the Marquesas.
We got eighty feet of the waterline.
Nicely making way.
In a noisy bar in Avalon I tried to call you.
But on a midnight watch I realized why twice you ran away.

Think about how many times I have fallen,
Spirits are using me, larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woman, girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will. And you know it will.

When you see the Southern Cross for the first time,
You understand now why you came this way.
'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from is so small.
But it's as big as the promise, the promise of a coming day.

So I'm sailing for tomorrow, my dreams are a dyin'.
And my love is an anchor tied to you, tied with a silver chain.
I have my ship and all her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have left and music is her name.

Think about how many times I have fallen,
Spirits are using me, larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woman, girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will. And you know it will.

So we cheated and we lied and we tested
And we never failed to fail, it was the easiest thing to do.
You will survive being bested.
But somebody fine will come along make me forget about loving you.
At the Southern Cross

*Yes, I know it's not actually a Buffett song - it's a Crosby, Stills, and Nash song. But the first time I heard it live was back at a Buffett concert so I will always think of Jimmy when I hear it. The video is from the 2006 Buffett concert here in the DC area that I was SUPPOSED to go to, but ended up in Wisconsin for the campaign instead.

GUEST POST: Always a Northerner

Because, as you all know, I am off gallivanting the Gulf Coast with Florida, I brought in one of my awesome bloggy-turned-real-life-friend to guest post! Enjoy, and I'll be back soon!

If I set up my email rules correctly, your comments should be emailed to her - so feel free to comment away!

Hey all! I blog over at Always a Northerner and I am filling in for Sweet Bea while she is down in Florida soaking up the sun. I've got a major issue and need your help, so I am just going to jump right in and throw it all out there!

I have a lot of family members that read my blog, including my husband, so sometimes I can't talk about certain things. I have a problem that I would love other bloggers' opinion on, so guest blogging is the perfect way to blog about a dilemma without angering any family members. Right? At least, let's hope.

About a year ago my husband's sister got engaged to the guy she has been dating for a few years. When telling us the big news, she asked my husband and I to be in the wedding. We happily agreed to be attendants and to help with planning as much as possible, as we had just gone through it a few months prior to her engagement. The situation was slightly complicated by the fact that she lives in California and we live in DC, however, we both promised to do as much as we could to help. She informed us that she was planning to have the wedding the Saturday or Sunday of Labor Day weekend, which would work out great because it is easier for us (and the rest of her family) to travel out west for a weekend when an extra day like Labor Day is built in. Because life got crazy for all of us, we never actually communicated about the wedding again, until she contacted us last week with some new information.....

She decided to have a wedding where only 15 people are invited (including us) the THURSDAY before Labor Day and have the reception with family and friends on Sunday. All in California.

Obviously I am aware that it is her wedding and she can do whatever she wants, but seriously.... holy inconvenience.

I am a school psychologist in the public schools, and this is the second week of work for me. Also, this is my first year as a school psychologist, and I can't take off three days the second week of school, particularly on a holiday weekend. Taking time off before or after holidays is heavily frowned upon in general (because ALL school employees would take off then and there would be no one to work with the children), and doing it right after I begin working will look even worse. If this had been communicated to us prior to me accepting my current position, maybe I could have negotiated the days off, but at this point, I have already accepted without any special circumstances being brought to their attention.

Also, my husband will have just started his second year of law school and also shouldn't be missing important classes the first two weeks of school. However, his situation isn't nearly as serious as mine. It's just a tad inconvenient for him.

When she told us this we were honest and told her we would have to discuss our options given work and law school, hoping that she might be understanding if both or one of us (obviously me) couldn't make it for the wedding. Well, she must have told her parents what we said because a couple days later we received an email from my husband's mother telling us our attendance at the wedding is mandatory.

Nice.

I understand that she is family and that ideally we would be there, but doesn't making the wedding on a THURSDAY negate some of the obligation to be there?

I am just scared that I will forever be black listed by the family if I miss the wedding. As for work, I am scared to ask about taking the days off, because if they say no and then I take them as sick leave or something, I could lose my job and/or the chance to gain seniority in my position if I just skip out on work.

What would you do?

~The Northerner

Gone Coastal!

I'm here:

Sanibel Island, Florida
(photo from thesanibelisland.com)

Watching these:

(photo from sanibel-online.com)

Collecting these:

(photo from flickr.com)

Doing this:

(photo from bornesversustravel.com)

(and catching more than this guy:)

Florida

Be back in a few days!

Cheers,

Sweet Bea

PS - like the photo-journey idea for this post? Me too. That's why I blatantly stole it from Wearing Mascara. :)

UNEDITED FLORIDA PIC

(my photo)

;)

What?? You didn't really think I'd show you his FACE on here, did ya?

Oh, you did?

Oh...

Well hmmmm...

Sorry! :)

Cheers,

(a very naughty)
Sweet Bea

PS: Dugout Daisy- this pic is for you :) Enjoy the tattoos!

What I came home to last night...

(my pic)

Wonder where I am (other than behind the camera, obvi?)

I'm standing directly in front of my apartment.

Boo hiss DC's yucky thunderstorms! :(

I've spent my day off playing around on the interwebs, getting ready for tonight's softball game (weather permitting, ugh!) and making plans for hanging out with some of my FAVORITE ladies tomorrow night.

Florida is en route to Texas for work and I fully plan on enjoying our brief separation...I need some alone and girl time!

BUT - he won't be out of my mind entirely...stay tuned for his first UNEDITED photo to appear on my blog tomorrow. (I know, get excited.)

Other than that, absolutely nothing new to report except I've found this AMAZING blog, courtesy of Legally Heidi (MissHeidi on Twitter) and am managing to continue wasting away this horribly chilly and rainy DC Thursday reading that (except the blog is only 2 weeks old and I've already read all the posts, boo.)

Perhaps a nap is in order? Maybe some lunch? Who knows!

Have a great Thursday!

Cheers,

Sweet Bea

Brother Bea = Smart. Sweet Bea = Not So Much.

It must be said that Brother Bea is a math genius. He takes after Daddy Bea, and me being adopted, didn't get any of the cool stuff from my folks. Except my mom's ability to over-dramatize EVERYthing...but I think that must be nurture, not nature. And if you've seen it in person, you know it's not cool.

In order to pass my math requirement in college, I depended on Brother Bea to program HIS scientific calculator with the various things that people need to pass Calculus and Trigonometry (see? I'm so dumb I don't even know what the things are called!)

Have I mentioned that Brother Bea is 3 years below my in school? Meaning that he was still in his baby years of HIGH SCHOOL when I was having him program the calculator for me?? He smart, me dumb. And to this day, anytime I have a math-related question, I turn to him. Keep this in mind.

Now, onto the rest of my post:

So if you've been reading my last few tweets, you'll know that I've been fighting with the State of California over my taxes. Basically, they say I owe money from when I worked there during the campaign season, and I say I do not.

Here's a bit of backstory: I LOVE tax season. I know, I'm a freak. But I LOVE doing my taxes...I find something very soothing about it. It should be noted that I still use the EZ and short forms of nearly all my taxes because I have no investments or anything that will one day make me want to pull my hair out/cringe and hide under a rock during tax time. My taxes are usually easy-peasy.

Except every other year.

Because every other year I get a wild hair up my bum and decided to take off for exotic lands like Racine, Wisconsin or East Bay, California for a campaign.

And then my taxes get a bit tricky.

In 2006 I had to file in Wisconsin, DC, and Virginia (stupid House of Reps didn't process my change of address from August 2005!) Everything worked out fine and I ended up owing a minuscule amount to DC, but getting all of VA (rightfully) refunded and almost all of Wisconsin back too. YAY me!

And then 2008 tax season came around.

I ended up having to file in both DC and CA...which from the looks of things, should have been easier than 2006. But no, not it isn't.

My dear home state of Cali decided that not only do you need to fill out your regular, non-resident taxes (not online, I might add) but you also have to fill out a ridiculously complicated adjustment schedule form...which was 2 pages of charts and nonsense.

But I got it done and mailed in on time. YAY me!

And then I got a letter last week, stating that CA had redone my taxes (sidenote: seriously? You redid my taxes?? why not just do them for me in the first place next time and tell me how much I'm getting back??? SHEESH!) and found a discrepancy, and now I owe then $200.

Needless to say this did not make me happy and I spent the better part of an hour cursing my state to anyone who would listen (Florida.)

I gathered all my necessary tax documents (luckily still not properly filed away and laying on my bedroom floor) and prepared to do battle.

I spent much time yesterday trying to call and was greeted with the lovely message that they were talking to too many other people and I would just have to try back again later. Over and over again.

So today, I regathered my resolve and tax forms and called. I got through! This in itself was a major victory! I was determined to take my complaint to the Governator if I had to. I was not going to pay CA any more money!!!

So the wonderful woman on the other end, Agent 352357 or something, spent over an hour going over line by line with my, trying to figure out where they had gone wrong (she never said that they were right and I was wrong - she assumed that I was right and they made a mistake.) I could understand her words completely, and when they didn't make sense to me (because the tax forms are ridiculous!) she tried several different ways of explaining until I pretended I understood.

Finally, it got down to this: I had to read to her line by line the numbers I had for BOTH FORMS so she could figure out what went wrong.

So line by line we went.

Through the entire forms.

We narrowed it down to a problem with the standard deduction percentage. WHY the standard deduction would vary from person to person when it was supposed to be a STANDARD deduction still boggles my mind, but whatevs. We knew the problem was there.

And then I hear this come from her mouth:

I think, on Part 4 line 47, you divided the numbers in the wrong order.

Which to me sounded much like:

garbledegook garbledegook math math math.

To which she further explained:

You needed to divide the little number by the big number, and you divided the big number by the little number.

YES. She said big numbers and little numbers, as if I was seriously in 2nd grade learning math...

...and she was right.

I now owe The Great State of California $202.13 because remembering which number goes into the calculator first, even after asking several times, when it says "divide line x by line y" is hard.

FAIL blog anyone?

Hope your Tuesday is cheaper than mine has become...

Cheers,

Sweet Bea

Buy me these, please!

A few bits and pieces of what I want for my birthday in 2.5 weeks:

1. A *jwj* necklace - preferably Toile or Sadie. Yes I can buy it myself but it is almost my birthday and I want someone else to buy it for me. :) When I was getting the original giveaway post ready, I very, very clearly too Florida to the *jwj* Etsy shop and pointed out incredibly carefully which ones I wanted for my birthday...we shall see if he listened (but I don't think he did, and you'll find out why at the bottom)

2.

L.L. Bean's Boat and Tote Zip-Top Bag, Large with Long Handles, Turquoise Sea.
{$31.00}

3.

J. Crew Critter Wedge Flip-Flops in Navy/White Fleur, size 5.
{$26.50 BUT 20% off when you order two}
(second choice = Grey & Pink Skulls)

4. A Vintage Dallas Cowboys fitted t-shirt. (Can't find any cute ones online just now...but I know they are out there.) Florida, listen up: I DO NOT WANT A JERSEY OR ANYTHING PINK!*

5. Sticky notes from Ashley Brooke Designs. A silly gift because I don't have a job where I use sticky notes...but that matters little to me. She had the idea of drawing me on the sticky notes with irises in my hair - cute, no? :)

Well, I suppose I've been selfish enough for this post, haven't I? My birthday is kinda a big deal (to me) and I expect everyone to fully relish in the fact that I was born 28 years + 347 days ago.

::GASP! That's right, I'll be turning 29!!::

This had better be a FAB birthday because it just might be the last one I celebrate!

Happy Tuesday, friends!

Cheers,

Sweet Bea

* Guess what Florida got me for my birthday? After I specifically told him before he ordered my gifts that I did NOT want a jersey because I want to be able to wear the shirt on non-game days? A JERSEY. Boys. Do. NOT. Listen.**

**Am I being harsh and mean, and shouldn't I be thankful I have an amazing boyfriend who even bought me a birthday present? Yes, I should. I know this. But at the same time, when I specifically tell you something that I DON'T want, and when you are ordering the gift next to me and saying "I don't think you'll like this..." shouldn't that be a sign that it's perhaps not the right thing to get??

GIVEAWAY WINNER!

Hi folks!

It's that time you've all been waiting for: the winner of my very first and fantastic *jewelery without jewels* GIVEAWAY!

And the winner is...

Here's her favorite piece and what she'd wear it with:

I'm obsessed with the Melanie necklace because a) my sister's name is Melanie and b) it's the color of PITTSBURGH.

What would I wear it with? I would proudly wear it with jeans, black heels, and my Steelers jersey :-)

Now, even thought she will be wearing it with Pittsburgh stuff (if you remember, I had to wear a Florida Gator hoodie on my first date with Florida because we made a bet and I lost the bet/the Cardinals lost to the Steelers in the Superbowl and I hate the Steelers as a result,) I can't wait to see it on her during one of our playdates this summer.

Congrats Julie, and thank you again everyone for entering and making my first GIVEAWAY a huge success!!

AND - of course - a massive thank you to Erica over at *jewelery without jewels* for giving away one of her fabulous necklaces!! Please visit her Etsy site and support her - remember that she donates 10% of all her sales to VH1's Save the Music Foundation.

Cheers,

Sweet Bea